Squashbrowns?

Would you just… LOOK AT IT?

Sometimes, your parents grow a giant zucchini and chop it up for dinner as “steaks”. Then you have leftovers and figure you might as well try making hashbrowns out of them for Sunday morning, while you’re watching Animal Planet and Swamp People.

Hashbrowns is a generous term for these because potatoes and zucchini don’t have the same texture, like, at all. But zucchini is growing on me a lot, it still knows how to charm all on their own.

I paired it with an easy-as-hell bacon and scallion omelette. All together, a pretty good high protein, low carb breakfast. Easy to mix up if you don’t jive with any of those ingredients, either.

All in all, I’d recommend this if you need a filling breakfast for a rest day. I know I needed one. I tried hot yoga again and it kicked my ass, but that’s a story for another day.

I didn’t really measure anything for this recipe, because a lot of it is just throwing stuff in a pan, but here’s what went into it.

1. Take your day-old cooked zucchini, which has been grilled in a mixture of dill, cilantro, chive, salt and pepper in olive oil. Cut up zucchini, put aside. I used 3 zucchini “steaks” for this.
2. Heat a small non-stick pan, without any oil because you’ve got the oil from the steaks to keep them from sticking, silly.
3. Fry zucchini on high until you’ve got a brown crust forming on all sides. Pre-heat your oven to 425 F to keep them hot while you cook the omelette. When they’re ready, put them in the oven on a new cooking sheet lined with parchment paper.
4. Now, crack two eggs, one without the yolk, in a bowl, but don’t mix. You can use the yolks from both , or the yolks from neither, this is just what I did. I usually use just egg whites I’ve bought in a carton from the store, but I don’t have that carton so I’m sad.
5. Mince some scallion ends and some bacon into small piece, or use bacon bits if you, like me, currently have a Costco bag of them sitting in your fridge.
6. Mix scallions and bacon with eggs and throw into pan. Once the egg starts stabilizing a little bit, use a spatula to push the contents around in the pan. This is a bit messier than a traditional omelette. I’m not Julia Child, I’m sorry to say. I cook my omelettes this way.
7. Take zucchini out of the oven, put on plate with omelette when the eggs are finished cooking.
8. If you’re me, serve with a sprinkling of hot sauce. Or whatever condiment brings you peace.

Enjoy your day off!

– Montana